When Fate Wills It
by Sliver of Light
Summary: Ban faces a personal and romantic dilemma regarding a colleague. Ginji bit OOC here. [BanxKadsuki][COMPLETED]
1. Cases

Disclaimer: I do not own Getbackers or any of its characters.

Content Warning: has mild shounen-ai… (hmm… I think mild isn't the word…)

Another thing, I'm sorry if Ginji is a little bit OOC here. I mean, he's quite mischievous… I just needed him to be that way to put more spice in the story… hihihi… anyway, enjoy minna! (bdw, thoughts are italicized)

**When Fate Wills It**

**Chapter I: Cases**

He looked at the clock and saw the time. It was past 2 in the morning. He didn't know why he was still up. He had already turned off the television. No channel was broadcasting anything anymore. He threw the remote at the other side of the sofa. He looked around and appreciated their new house. It was quite sometime before he and Ginji were able to save enough money to buy their own house. Finally, they are able to sleep somewhere more comfortable than the car. Well, there were always those cheap motels or hotels they could spend the night in if they didn't like the car. It was still different to have a new house though. Besides there is a risk when staying in cheap motels-- there was _always _a risk-- of having a 'knock' on their door in the middle of the night. How he hated when he and Ginji were waken up by those desperate women and even men sometimes. It wasn't that he despised them. He just couldn't bear to look at them, doing 'that', selling their bodies for a living. It was painful for them, to see such people. Even if he and Ginji were down to the last cent, they never thought of that for a living, definitely not. They'd rather die than stoop to that level.

He looked up at the ceiling and saw dust falling off with little sparks of electricity. Ginji must be dreaming, he thought. He always sends off sparks every time he dreams of happy things. There was no need to worry. It means he was still peacefully asleep, not bothered by anything else.

So, why is Mido Ban still up? He looked at the door, as though expecting someone to come bursting in. He looked at the door for half a minute. When the knock he was expecting didn't come, he lay down on the sofa, putting his feet on the soft cushion without even bothering to remove his shoes. He closed his eyes, trying to attract sleep but as soon as he did, he opened them right away. _His_ picture was again forming in his head. He could see _him _clearly, his soft, kind and beautiful face. Though he talked to Ginji about him and poured all his feelings on his best friend, he still felt that dragging guilt inside him. Ginji managed to comfort him with his simple words. Yes, they were simple, but they weighed a lot, almost as though they were said by his mother. He could remember exactly his personal conversation with Ginji only a few hours ago.

_"If you really like him, then you should let him know," said Ginji while he made a coffee for Ban._

_"I can't," replied Ban. "You know I just can't Ginji."_

_"Why? Why can't you tell him?"_

_"It's because… I'll end up betraying and hurting everyone."_

_"Ban…"_

_"Everyone knows it's them already. Though they don't admit it, I know there's something happening between them. It would be a scandal if I suddenly get into the picture."_

_"But Ban, unless you let him know---"_

_"I can't let him know Ginji!" said Ban with a slightly louder voice causing Ginji to almost drop the coffee. He placed it on the bedside table across Ban and flung an arm around his best friend's shoulder. He looked at Ban and saw how sad he was that time, which was a rare occasion. He never let anyone see his vulnerability, except for him and---_

_"Itomaki," whispered Ban. "He shouldn't know. Yeah, that's right. He's better off with the Needle boy."_

_"It's not who he's better off which matters here Ban-chan," explained Ginji. "It's what you feel. It's what he feels. I tell you, if you don't confess your true feelings to him, there'll come a time---and it might be even worse that time--- you'll accidentally let it slip. You're hiding your feelings Ban-chan, and it doesn't help. It'll just worsen your position."_

_"Never mind my position Ginji," said Ban while clutching his forehead. He hated himself. He was showing his weakness again. "As long as Itomaki's happy, I'm happy."_

_"Don't fool yourself Ban-chan," Ginji replied while withdrawing his hand._

_"It's the truth."_

_"You're not fooling anyone this time, not even Ginji-kun."_

_"Ginji?"_

_"Do you really think he's not affected here? When you hide your feelings, when you don't let him know, are you really sure you're not hurting him?"_

_"What are you saying Ginji?"_

_"You perfectly know what I'm saying Ban-chan," said Ginji while looking at the darkness outside through the small window in their room. It had started to rain and thunder was roaring outside, almost angrily, almost like they were Ginji's._

_"What if he did or may be he does like you?" asked Ginji without looking at his best friend. These words made Ban stand up and pace the room. _

_"It can't be the case," whispered Ban. Though he said this, Ginji found a trace of hope in his voice. He was hoping he did like him. He still liked him._

_"Oh?" asked Ginji while smiling a little. "You don't know what he's thinking Ban-chan. He and Jubei-san may be close but it doesn't mean there's something beyond friendship going on between them."_

_"But no one can deny that they like one another," said Ban. "Remember what we saw in the hot spring? They were acting as though they were a couple already."_

_"What if, Ban-chan," started Ginji. "What if Kadsuki-chan just did it to---to make you jealous?"_

_This idea from Ginji brought a stop to Ban's pacing. He looked at Ginji who was looking at him with a glint of mischief in his eyes, also a rare sight._

_"Jealous?" Ban asked incredulously. The idea was absurd, but there could be a possibility. Ginji looked at Ban when he couldn't believe what he said. He raised his eyebrows in a reassuring way and gave him a nod._

_"There's always a possibility Ban-chan," said Ginji. "Maybe Kadsuki-san was waiting for you all along."_

_"You're mental Ginji."_

_"No, I'm serious Ban-chan," said Ginji. He was actually holding his chin while his eyebrows were almost meeting at the center. He was actually absorbed in concentration._

_"I'm not getting ideas out of thin air. I'm basing my theories on what I saw."_

_"But, Itomaki likes Jubei," defended Ban. He was wondering why he wasn't open to the idea that Kadsuki may also really like him. _

_Ginji tutted and stood up beside Ban. He tapped his best friend's shoulder and led him out of the room. _

_"Ban-chan, you and I know, as well as the whole group that the Kakei clan is the protector of the Fuchoin clan. Think about it."_

_"Ginji… I didn't know you could think like a genius! Thanks for the support," said Ban, his spirits suddenly up. "Just kidding," he added while looking at Ginji._

_Ginji snorted and melted into a puddle of goo. He oozed his way to the bed before talking again._

_"You know what to do then Ban-chan," said a super deformed Ginji. "And oh please, do close the door before you leave? I don't want electric sparks ruining the house during my sleep."_

_Ban nodded and closed the door. _

It was really a long conversation. He was really feeling happy a few hours ago but now, everything seems to turn bad again. He was feeling sulky again. He was having second thoughts of telling Kadsuki what he feels for him. He didn't know how he would insert himself in the picture: in Kadsuki's life. There were so many possibilities and so many cases.

Case 1: Itomaki and Needle boy are _together_ BUT Itomaki has hidden feelings for Ban as well.

Case 2: Itomaki and Needle boy are 'just friends' and Itomaki does like Ban.

Case 3: Itomaki and Needle boy are _together_, period. He liked Ban _before _but since he didn't admit anything, his feelings for Ban are history.

Case 4: Itomaki and Needle boy are 'just friends', so with Ban.

Ban was trying to think of possible ways to deal with these cases as well as their possible consequences, when suddenly, as though God willed it, he heard a weak knock on the door. It was a minute before the knock registered completely on Ban's mind because of his case-full brain and the hammering rain outside. He stood up from the sofa and put on his sunglasses. _Who would be knocking at 2 a.m. in the morning?_

He was very slow in walking when he heard a familiar voice on the other side of the door.

"B-Ban-kun? Are you still awake? P-Please let me in… I need to t-talk to you."

He hurriedly went to the door to open it for his unexpected visitor. As soon as he opened the door, his view was blocked by a mass of hair and he felt the owner of the shivering voice fall forward. Good thing he was able to catch him on time before both of them fell on the floor. He saw his visitor had passed out. He was soaking wet and as Ban held him up, he looked at his face and as he did, he felt his heart drop.

Only seconds ago he was thinking of him. Now he was before him and in his arms! How playful fate is, he thought. He buried his face on the familiar smooth and long brown hair though it was damp with rain. He wrapped his arms around Kadsuki and drew him closer to him.

He couldn't think of anything else at the moment. It was 2 a.m. in the morning, it was raining hard outside, he was soaking wet, but it was the happiest day of his life.

_To be continued…_


	2. Love and the Like

**Chapter II: Love and the Like**

"Hey, Itomaki!" said a nervous Ban. He tried to shake him a little to see if it would rouse him back to consciousness. When it didn't, he carried him and laid him on the sofa. He went hurriedly to their room upstairs and tried to find any spare clothes and dry towel. He was still rummaging the cabinet when Ginji stirred and looked at him.

"What's happening Ban?" said Ginji blearily. "Why are you swimming in our cabinet?"

"I'm not swimming Ginji," said Ban, a little bit irritated. He realized he did look as though he was swimming when he was shoving aside the filthy clothes using movements like those of the butterfly stroke.

"I need any loose clothing for Itomaki, as well as a dry towel."

These words of Ban completely awakened Ginji. He rose from the bed and tried to help Ban to find clothes.

"Kadsuki-chan is here?" asked Ginji incredulously. "You did take my advice seriously Ban-chan, but why not wait until the sun's up? It's just past 2 a.m. in the morning…"

"I didn't call him Ginji," said Ban while finding a dry towel. "He suddenly came, I don't know. I was surprised myself. One minute he was just inside my head, the next minute he was all over me."

Ginji handed him the shirt he found inside the inner drawer of the cabinet before smiling at his best friend. He closed the cabinet and followed Ban who was running down the stairs the moment he got the clothes from Ginji. He called out to Ban from the stairs.

"Ban-chan," said Ginji while looking at his best friend wipe Kadsuki's forehead. "This is what I call fate. _I_ would be stupid if _I_ let this opportunity pass." He wasn't expecting it, but he saw Ban crack a small smile on his face.

"Stop being so Emishi-like, Ginji!" said Ban though he was still smiling. "Come and help me here. I don't know how to get him out off his wet clothes."

"If I know, you're just embarrassed to unclothe him," teased Ginji.

"Whatever," muttered Ban under his breathe.

Ginji hurriedly descended the stairs and sat beside Ban. He offered Ban dry clothes to change in too since he was soaked by Kadsuki. Ban took it and looked at Ginji as he took the towel from him and started wiping Kadsuki's slim body. He couldn't believe it was Ginji who said those things. After changing clothes, he placed his palm on his partner's forehead while placing his other hand on his own.

"Do you have a fever or any sickness Ginji?…Hmm… Maybe something bad happened to Emishi and unluckily, you're channeling his spirit at the moment."

Ginji had to laugh at this comment of Ban while continuing his job on Kadsuki. He was already changing the clothes of Kadsuki when he looked again at his partner. Ban was already serious. He was _very _serious. This time his hand was on the forehead of Kadsuki and Ginji could see Ban's eyebrows meet in the center as he felt the other man's temperature.

"What is it Ban-chan?" asked Ginji in a worried tone.

"Oh God… oh great… damn, he has a fever… he's so hot. I think he's going 40 with this temperature…"

"What should we do Ban-chan?" Ginji asked while placing on the plastic the wet clothes of Kadsuki.

"Is there any drugstore open already?" asked Ban in reply though he knew what the answer would be.

"I think there isn't any yet Ban-chan, but," said Ginji while thinking. "I remember one!"

"Where?"

"It's quite far though, I was with Himiko-chan when we went there. That drugstore's open 24 hours. But if I try going now on foot, it'll take me ages."

"…"

"Ban?"

"…"

"I'll go get a blanket."

"Bring also water and another dry towel," said Ban with a very worried look on his face. He felt guilty. _Maybe if I didn't think of him too much he wouldn't be here… _

He was blaming himself for what was happening to Kadsuki. As he tried to think more clearly, the words of Kadsuki came back to him. _He wanted to talk to me… I wonder what he wanted to tell me at this time in the morning…_

He was still theorizing things on his brain when Kadsuki stirred. His breathing suddenly became heavy and his face looked like he was in pain. Ban felt his forehead again and as he did, he withdrew his hand right away.

_Shit… he's burning! … he has a cold sweat already… now what… _

"Ginji! Hurry! I need the blanket!" shouted Ban. There was no reply. _Oh really now…_

He couldn't go get the blanket himself and leave Itomaki alone. He knew he had no right to do _this_ but Itomaki needed it at the moment. He made up his mind. He sat beside Kadsuki on the sofa and hugged him the second time that day. He could feel him shivering beneath him. He tightened his embrace to give more warmth- never mind the burning heat emanating from Kadsuki- just hoping to stop his shivering.

Ginji arrived and when he saw the scene before him, he couldn't help but smile to himself as he descended the stairs. He quietly put down the basin of water on the floor and the dry towel on the chair where Ban sat before he decided to cuddle Kadsuki.

"I brought what you ask me Ban-chan," said Ginji. "I'm sorry it took quite long."

"Thanks Ginji," said Ban while ruffling his best friend's hair. He soaked the towel in the basin of water and squeezed it to remove excess water. He gently wiped Kadsuki's face and hands before he placed the damp towel on Kadsuki's forehead.

"So Ban-chan," started Ginji when he and Ban saw that Kadsuki's face was finally relaxed and he wasn't shivering anymore.

"Hn?"

"Why is Kadsuki-chan here?"

"I told you I don't know," said an almost irritated Ban.

"You think Jubei-san knows?"

"Hell, as if I care," answered Ban grumpily.

"You're mean Ban-chan," said a taken aback Ginji. "He should know, you know."

"We'll just wait for Kadsuki to wake up and hear what he has got to say," said Ban. "Why would he come here at this time in the morning when God knows it's raining heavily outside and his temperature's as hot as hell?"

"You think… he's not doing well with Jubei-san?" asked Ginji curiously.

"I don't really know Ginji," answered Ban curtly. "I don't even know if there _really _is something between them."

"Let's say there is," said Ginji though he knew perfectly well he was crushing Ban's heart.

"Then what?"

"Then, he came here because they had a fight, and he tries to seek your advise and--"

"Now you're making me his adviser."

"—and he wants to hear what you've got to say," finished Ginji as though Ban didn't interrupt him.

Ban considered what Ginji said and he was starting to be awed with his partner's recent train of thought.

_Well, there must be something deeper than that though… He came here to consult me? Definitely not. More likely, he came here to confess to me…_ _What a thought Ban-sama… What a thought…_

"You alright Ban-chan?" asked Ginji when he saw Ban was grinning alone.

"Uh, yeah," said Ban. "Just thought of something more interesting than what you just said."

"Really?" asked Ginji. "Enlighten me then Ban-chan."

"Huh? What's with the enlighten me-thing? Are you sure _you_ are not sick? You really are something today."

"Come on," said Ginji happily. "Tell me."

"I don't like."

"Pleaaassse?"

"Stop acting like a kid," said Ban meanly. "Fine, fine I'll tell you. Stay put, Kadsuki might wake up."

Ban took a deep breathe and sighed. He looked at Ginji who had turn again into his SD form. Ban carried him and brought him on his lap. He laid his chin on the chibi Ginji's head and made another sigh.

"I'm sighing a lot these days," said Ban while fixing his glasses. "You see, what if… _you suck Ban-sama, you suck! _What if he came to confess to me?"

As soon as Ban mentioned the last sentence, sparks came running out from Ginji's body, causing Ban to be mildly electrocuted.

"Oops, sorry Ban-chan," apologized a still SD Ginji. "You sure thought a lot about it, eh? You _are _a man."

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked a bewildered Ban.

"Nothing," said Ginji with a chuckle. _You just have the right nerve to think that way. _

Ban started telling Ginji his theory on Kadsuki's confession when they saw the unconscious man stir. This made Ban stop abruptly. They looked at Kadsuki who just tilted his head slightly to the right so that his left cheek faced the two men. The damp towel on his forehead fell to his side and Ban got the impulse to take it and place it back on his forehead. Without hesitation, he did so and managed to place it back on Kadsuki's forehead without waking him up, thus, crushing Ginji in the process.

"…acckkk… Ban-chan," said a muffled Ginji. "You're crushing me… can't breathe… need air…"

"Sorry partner," said Ban apologetically while placing him back on the chair. "Where was I before he stirred?"

"Well, you were saying something about his coming here for a confession."

"Oh yeah, that," said Ban while pushing his glasses up. "Well, it's just a hope. I'm not really expecting it. I mean, come on Ginji, you know how I like him so much."

Ginji smirked at his partner and moved his head sideward, showing he disagreed.

"What again?"

"You don't like him Ban-chan," said Ginji, almost pitifully. "You love him already. The way you're behaving? That's not just 'liking' anymore, that's love."

Ban felt his cheeks burn when Ginji gave another shot at one of his rare day-to-day analyses. Well, _it was true. He wasn't prepared to accept the truth yet: the truth that he loves Itomaki._

"Isn't liking and loving the same?"

"Well, almost," answered Ginji. His partner was really nothing in stuff about love. "It's just that the latter is more complicated than the former. When you like someone, it has limits. It has boundaries. You're not actually attached to the person, or something like that. There's just something that's interesting in that person, but it's just until there. Ok, let's say, you like me, you like Hevn-san, you like Himiko, you like the gang. You simply enjoy their company and you regard the person or those persons in a positive way.

"But, well, Ban-chan, when you say that you love someone, there's already a strong affection towards that person. It's not just that, you see that person in a positive way. There's something deeper. It can be compared to liking, but it's just stronger. And usually, you are willing to take risks, special risks and sacrifices for that particular person because to you, he's special. You're willing to traverse ---"

"--- heaven and hell just to be with that person," cut off Ban, his eyes on Kadsuki. Ginji sighed at the sight of his partner. Ban had his palm on the right cheek of Kadsuki and he was looking at the unconscious man as though he were an angel. Something flickered in Ban's eyes that Ginji rarely see.

"I think I don't need to go further with my explanation Ban-chan," muttered Ginji, almost to himself. _You don't know love. You've mastered love._

"Ei, Ban-chan… Ban-chan," whispered Ginji while tugging his sleeve. This seemed to rouse back Ban to reality.

"Oh, sorry, got carried away," apologized Ban while looking at Ginji and taking his eyes off Kadsuki for the first time in thirty minutes.

"I'm right, am I not, Ban-chan?" asked Ginji while resting his chin on his folded knees. "You do love Kadsuki-chan."

"Yeah, you're right," replied Ban. "I love him so much I'm willing to sacrifice myself for him. If he really belongs to Needle boy already, I'll accept that. I just don't want to see him hurting like this."

"Ban-chan…"

"I can wait," continued Ban while removing the stray hair on Kadsuki's face. "I can wait forever for him if that what makes him happy."

"Ban-chan? I think I'm going back to bed," said Ginji while feeling Kadsuki's temperature. He had a contented smile on his lips, something Ban wasn't able to see.

"He seems to have cooled off already. His fever isn't as high as minutes ago. You can continue watching over him. I'm really tired."

He wasn't really tired. He just wanted to give his partner and his newly found love some time alone… together… now that he has the chance.

"Yeah… sure," said Ban absentmindedly to his partner while looking at the wall clock. It was already 3:30 in the morning. The rain finally stopped and he could hear the birds chirping just outside the living room window. He turned his gaze back to Kadsuki and saw that he was breathing normally already. In fact, it was _so normal_ that he felt his heart jump in its place.

"Are you awake, Itomaki?" asked Ban quietly while leaning on his chair. There was no response. Until Kadsuki tilted his head back to the left, thus, facing the ceiling.

"Yeah, I am," Kadsuki replied. His hand was on his forehead. Ban noticed something trickle at the corner of Kadsuki's eye.

"You…" Ban hesitated but curiosity got the better of him. "…heard everything, didn't you?"

"I did."

_To be continued…_

_Author's notes: Well, there you go, chappy 2. So, what do you think? I still can't believe I actually made Ginji lecture Ban about love here. Anyway, pls. review! … until the last chapter folks!_


	3. Confessions

Ok, finally, after your long wait (if there's anyone waiting in the first place) I'm putting an end to my sappiest fic ever. Oh, just to let you people know, this one's kinda angst-filled and _really _fluffy (maybe even beyond that). Pardon me people, I'm just no good with fics, anyway, see you down there folks…

**Chapter III: Confessions**

"I do appreciate what you said Ban," whispered Kadsuki, trying to pull himself up in a sitting position.

"Are you ok already?" asked Ban worriedly, not commenting on what Kadsuki just said. He tried to help him up on his back but a hand from the latter was raised, telling him to stop.

"It's ok Ban, it's ok. I'm fine," muttered Kadsuki getting more embarrassed at the minute. He felt a blush creeping across his cheeks.

After sitting up, he looked at Ban awkwardly before gazing away and suddenly finding interest in his own hands. Ban, on the other hand, just stared at Kadsuki, waiting for the man to tell him what he came for. He wanted to start up a light conversation so that Kadsuki's entrance wouldn't have a very strong impact on him but it seems he was having a trouble starting one at the moment. Emotions were high, the air was filled with tension and he could sense he wasn't the only one feeling nervous. He can feel his heart hammering behind his rib cage as he anticipated whatever bomb Kadsuki was about to drop off.

He already said he _appreciated_ what he said. That's all. Yeah. Appreciated. Still, Ban considers his response vague. He didn't know if he should still expect anything from Itomaki.

"Ban, I need to tell you something."

"That's why you've invaded my house at this time in the morning, right?" replied Ban, coldness etched in his voice. He knew he was being harsh to the man but he couldn't help it. How he could _only _appreciate… he wasn't blaming him though, no, he wasn't… but his damned ego wanted him to.

"Ban, I'm sorry," replied Kadsuki, not able to hold back the tears that were forming in his eyes ever since he accidentally heard Ban confess his feelings. He was probably looking like a child sobbing right now, but he didn't care. He could feel Ban's anger though he was trying to hide it from him, and this was hurting him more. He didn't know why, but it hurt.

"I didn't want to bother you and Ginji at this hour but I needed to," continued Kadsuki when Ban didn't say or do anything to comfort him. It's not as if he expected anyway.

"It's ok," muttered Ban, looking anywhere else but at Kadsuki. He didn't want to see Kadsuki crying. He couldn't take to see tears flowing from his beautiful face. He didn't want to look at the face of the one he loved filled with such pain. He didn't want to break further his already breaking heart.

"I've… I've been going out with Jubei for the past three months--"

"Since when did you not go out with Needle Boy?" cut off Ban. It was obvious. Itomaki always went out with Jubei, everywhere. Kadsuki shook his head, understanding how Ban felt right now.

"I mean," continued Kadsuki while wiping his own tears with eyes still gazing at his palms. "We've started to go beyond our 'friendship' during those months. It was all going well. He loved me and I loved him back. We were going stronger everyday until last week."

"What happened?" asked Ban, trying to soften his voice. Was this what Kadsuki wanted to tell him? He could feel bitterness and regret in the man's voice. He surely know where this revelation was going. If he could even call it a _revelation._

"We had a row during one of his trainings with me. It was about his blindness again. I thought it was just like the ones we had previously. He said he felt so helpless and he was going on again about his being unable to protect me and stuff of that sort. At first, I thought we would be able to settle the argument but then it just got worse. He began shouting and then I could feel his emotions… he felt so helpless, more like he was pitying himself. I told him so many times that I didn't care, that it was alright, that we'd be able to get through it all and it'll be ok in the end but… this time… he refused to listen."

Ban felt fear creep up into him for some unknown reason. He wanted to hug Kadsuki, share his thoughts and his pains but…

"He wouldn't let me comfort him anymore," Kadsuki muttered, feeling tears run down again on his cheeks. He wished them to stop coming. He felt so weak. So alone. So sad.

"He shoved me away," continued Kadsuki, "he said it was enough. He said he was starting to fail as my protector, as my friend, as my lover. He said he didn't want to burden me anymore that's why he was setting me free. But I know he only said that because, he doesn't love me anymore. He has given all his love and the love I return isn't just enough."

That was when Kadsuki couldn't take anymore and broke down in Ban's chest. He clutched his shirt and continued sobbing. Telling the whole thing over again was tearing him apart. He couldn't stand remembering what Jubei had said to him. His best friend, the man he offered his life to, was ordering him to get out of his life. He couldn't take it. He just couldn't.

"Kadsuki--"

"I hate myself! Why can't I make him feel accepted? Why can't I make him know that he is being cared for and loved! He wasn't the one who failed, Ban. It was me! God knows how much he loves me, I can feel that. But I fail to give him mine… I feel so helpless. He wouldn't say those things if my love reached his heart in the first place. I can't… can't take it anymore!" _I am so afraid Ban. I am so afraid… _

All these words were said into Ban's chest. Ban, though he wasn't an empath, could feel Kadsuki's emotions surging into his head, into his heart. It was painful. He wanted to end his pain. He wanted to show Kadsuki he was there, that he could do something for him.

Without thinking twice, he slowly held up Kadsuki's face and scanned his eyes. _Oh gods, how beautiful you are even though you are crying but how I wish you would stop. It's breaking me Kadsuki. You don't know how it's crushing me. _

He slowly wiped the tears from Kadsuki's eyes and kissed his forehead. He leaned towards him so that their foreheads rested against each other. He held his soft cheeks as he closed his eyes and whispered the words he had been dying to ask him. He knew it wasn't the right time, but he could feel it had something to do with what was happening between Kadsuki and Jubei.

"Kadsuki," he started, his voice barely above a whisper. "Do you love me?"

Ban, whose face was barely inches from Kadsuki, felt the other man take a deep intake of air at his words. Kadsuki did not answer directly Ban's question. He just closed his eyes and drew away a little. He placed his palm at the back of Ban's hand, trying to feel if they were real. He raised his other hand, and landed them on Ban's chest.

"He knew," Kadsuki said tersely.

"Sorry?" asked Ban, confused. "I don't get--"

"He was blind, but he knew that my love for him was different. He knew that I loved him as my friend. He felt that I was trying to get over that stage but he also knew I was having a difficult time, that's why."

"Kadsuki, you're getting me confused," said Ban. "You said you were going stronger."

"Our relationship was going stronger, but not exactly our love for one another. Weird, ne?" Kadsuki had to laugh at what he said, for it sounded stupid. But then, before he could stop himself, he had pressed his lips over Ban's, causing the latter's eyes to go round with shock. It didn't took long though, before Ban could respond back, Kadsuki had drawn away. He was blushing and was avoiding Ban's gaze.

"Kadsuki?" asked an astounded Ban. One of his hands had found comfort in Kadsuki's waist, while the other was tracing his lips, trying to feel the warmth of Kadsuki's short kiss on it.

"He knew _that _Ban," said Kadsuki, talking to the floor. "He knew I love you."

Ban could've jumped with joy with Kadsuki's words if his beloved didn't feel so down and sad at that time. He was right all along. Kadsuki did love him. _His_ Kadsuki loves him.

"I'm sorry," apologized Kadsuki. "Are you mad?"

Ban shaked his head while running his fingers on his hair. He just wanted to know one thing though.

"When… when did he know? I… I myself didn't even know," said Ban while cupping one of Kadsuki's cheeks and making him gaze back at his azure eyes.

"Since we first went out together," answered Kadsuki still avoiding Ban's gaze, though he was face to face with the man. "He didn't give up. I didn't too. I tried my best to… to forget you… I tried my best to make him feel I love him… but… he read me like a book. He told me, a week ago, during that row… that he knew who my heart was beating for."

"It was for me," whispered Ban, locking his gaze at Kadsuki who was finally looking at him.

"Gods, I was scared Kadsuki. You have no idea. I thought… I thought you didn't love me…"

He hugged Kadsuki and rested his cheek on the side of Kadsuki's head. He stroked his soft brown hair and drew him closer, as though afraid he wouldn't feel him there, as though afraid that he was dreaming and that there was no Kadsuki in front of him, telling him he loved him.

"At first, I-I thought I could forget you," whispered Kadsuki whose head was resting on Ban's shoulder. "I knew you had no idea about my feelings. Everyone knows and believes it's us and Jubei, so I thought it was hopeless."

Ban was about to say something when he heard Kadsuki gave a little sob. He pulled him away softly from his hug and looked at his angelic face. Kadsuki was crying again. He could hardly hold back his own tears. Hell, Kadsuki was his weakness

"Shhh," hushed Ban while kissing Kadsuki's tear-filled eyes, first the left then the right. "If you didn't love me, I will always wait for you." He planted a small kiss on Kadsuki's nose. "I don't give a damn how long, as long as I know, heaven and earth knows I love you."

He gave Kadsuki a chaste kiss on the lips, telling Kadsuki he was accepted and that he was loved. The kiss was returned gratefully by the latter, the warmth of his soft lips giving Ban happiness beyond comprehension. He felt Kadsuki's hand on the back of his neck, playing teasingly over the skin beneath it. The delicate touch made by his slender fingers sent shivers down Ban's spine. Ha! Ban wouldn't let Kadsuki take full control of the moment. He showed his new found love he was capable. He was certainly no baby in such things.

* * *

"I always wanted to do that to you," whispered Ban at Kadsuki's ear. Kadsuki felt his face turn deep shade of red as he heard Ban's words. Ban was crouched over him while he sat at the chair beside the sofa where he was nuzzled under the blanket Ginji brought earlier. Ban reached out a hand to touch Kadsuki's forehead. The man wasn't hot anymore. His fever had already subsided. Kadsuki turned to his side so that he faced Ban, making his hand rest instead on his cheek.

"Ban-kun," whispered Kadsuki. "How odd isn't it? I never expected everything to turn out like this."

"You're not happy?"

"I… I'm happy, but I'm still quite confused," replied Kadsuki while looking at the window. "I don't know how Jubei would react. I really tried. I really tried my best, but it wasn't enough even until the end."

"It's ok, I think," said Ban while stroking Kadsuki's hair. He loved to do this since the man's hair was soft under his touch, like those of a cat's—smooth, soft and gentle to the touch.

"Do you think he'll understand?" asked Kadsuki.

"He _should_ understand Kadsuki," Ban answered. "He set you free. He knew you won't be happy if you continued on your relationship. I think he was just accepting the truth."

"I really don't want to hurt his feelings," said Kadsuki. "I really did try to give back the same love he gave for me."

Ban stood up and stretched a little before sitting at the sofa just beside Kadsuki's waist. Kadsuki sat and rested his head on Ban's shoulder, causing his long brown hair to drape the two of them. Ban felt a little bit itchy but he made no effort to remove the mass of hair off him. He looked at Kadsuki, azure boring into auburn.

"You worry too much," muttered Ban while kissing his love's forehead. "Fate wouldn't have willed this to happen if it wasn't for the good of you both."

"Maybe… maybe you are right," whispered Kadsuki, his voice at the edge of sleep. "Ban…"

"Hn?"

"I'm really glad…I'm glad I met you and Ginji-kun."

"I'm glad too."

"I… I love you."

Appreciated… Nah. Accepted…Definitely, yeah.

"I love you too."

* * *

He looked at the pair from where he stood. How sweet they were. He could taste there love from where he stood. Well, he was happy for his partner and for Kadsuki-chan. Ban's happiness was Ginji's happiness. Yet… despite this happiness filing his chest, he felt sickened to see them together. How sardonic fate is.

**owari**

tadahhh! We're through! We're through! I can finally go back to my sarcophagus. Oooh… I smell a sequel… sighs nah, fat chance. Sorry, that's the best I could fish out from my murky mind. grins evily  noticed some extreme fluff  almost yaoi.  How about deadly angst? cackles madly Anyway, thnx guys for taking time reading this sappy fic of mine… review, review!

gg15


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